TerriHardwick
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Registered: 24/07/05
Posts: 593
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| | 03/06/07 at 10:17 AM | Reply with quote | #1 |
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Turning Scars Into Stars
Terri Hardwick
No-one is immune from suffering pain, disappointment, and sorrow. We can look around at other people’s favourable circumstances, and assume that they have escaped the unpleasant side of life (especially the trials that we are experiencing!). But the fact of the matter is that every one of us goes through tough times, to a greater or lesser degree. One mother mentioned that if she put her problems in a bucket along with the problems of countless other people, and then pulled one out at random, she would more than likely wish for her own problem back again!
My own personal journey has included times of great joy and gladness, and other times of heartache and sorrow. I have LOVED the good times. But it is through the tough times that I’ve grown, matured, and learned the most. Mountaintop experiences are just glorious, but you will not find much vegetation growing there. No, it is in the valleys where the grass grows! Henry Ward Beecher wrote: “Troubles are often tools by which God fashions us for better things.”
Have you ever noticed out in the countryside, where the night sky is the darkest, that the stars shine the brightest? So too in life, I have seen people shine their brightest and best, when they face their darkest moments. A Chinese proverb says that the gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.
When diamonds are mined, they first appear like an ordinary pebble, dull and uninteresting. It is only after rigorous polishing and cutting that their brilliance and radiance appears. We are all born like diamonds in the ruff! Inside we have beautiful qualities that are far more precious than the sparkle of diamonds, in the form of courage, commitment, perseverance, patience, sacrifice, unselfishness, loyalty, kindness, empathy and unconditional love. However these qualities don’t shine their brightest in times of ease. No-one says “I really need perseverance and commitment to get through these three weeks holiday!” But in times of trial, when we endure suffering and hardship, we see the quality of our characters shine bright in the darkness.
Andre Maurois once said that if you create a character, you create a destiny. Our destiny is not to pursue an ideal life, free from disappointment and pain. Our destiny is to create a character! Then no matter what life brings to us, we will be able to face up to, and overcome, every challenge that comes our way.
Helen Keller knew what it is to suffer. As a toddler, she developed an illness that left her blind and deaf. However, her life became a testament to the ability of a human being to overcome obstacles and achieve greatness. Helen Keller wrote “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” Helen’s character was shaped not by her difficult experiences, but by her attitude toward them. If she had wallowed in self-pity, and asked the unanswerable question of “why me?”, she would never have risen above her circumstances, to live a life worth living. There are things which hold us back from developing a beautiful character, and these things prevent us from enjoying life regardless of our circumstances.
1. Let Go of Bitterness and Unforgiveness.
If these two things take root in our hearts and minds, we lose our hearts and minds! We bind them up with hurt, and it effects our ability to maintain healthy relationships, and be happy. Hurt people, hurt people! The things that happen to us can always be blamed on other people (our husbands, partners, children, friends or relatives), but in the end, we have the power to change only one thing - ourselves. Forgiveness is not based on finding some redeeming quality that makes a person worth forgiving. Forgive so you can live! (Often the hardest person to forgive is yourself).
2. Acceptance.
Accept what you are given, where you are and who you are. We cannot go through life with this attitude… “if things were different, I’d be different”. Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% what you do about it.
3. Take Courage.
It takes courage to turn scars into stars. To face big challenges, to keep going when everything seems hopeless, to face up to failure, or to ask for help, all take courage. It takes courage to be a mother! But we are not alone. We can draw strength and encouragement from one another.
So recognize and appreciate the benefits of every challenge you face as a mum. If you let them, those scars will eventually turn into stars, as you develop qualities that make you even more beautiful, day by day.
Discussion:
1. Can you share how a difficult time has benefited you?
2. How can we apply this to developing character in our children?
3. Why is unforgiveness so destructive?
4. How have you shown courage as a mother?
5. What aspects of your character have been developed through motherhood?
__________________
Terri
Andrew:33
Emma:32
Beth:32
Daniel:29
Lucy:27
Tess:22 |
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